Your prose struck this perfect tone of heavy-hearted weariness throughout. I found the details of plot and action somewhat hard to follow at times, and I think you could do better descriptively than relying on, e.g., "this creature looked like an old-earth alligator". I found it sort of discordant that the narrator is supposed to be a decorated war veteran who has participated in other colonial invasions (or at least, that's the direction the story took me with regards to his background) and yet he seems to have never before even considered the idea that they're wiping out civilizations. Still, that doesn't detract from what is overall a good exploration of the theme and a powerful and evocative story.
Play book
Before the bombs fell - OPR Writing Jam's itch.io pageResults
| Criteria | Rank | Score* | Raw Score |
| Adherence to the Theme | #5 | 4.240 | 4.240 |
| Overall | #13 | 3.893 | 3.893 |
| Flow & Clarity | #16 | 3.720 | 3.720 |
| Concept & Originality | #26 | 3.720 | 3.720 |
Ranked from 25 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.
Comments
Some questions were raised that I wished were explained more about why advanced lizards were living next to primitive lizards, but all-around I think it was a good execution!
Submitted
Pondering on Softscalesvery descriptive and well written! glad to see the starhosts getting there big break in this jam
Submitted
The True FaceReally like this one! Love how you integrated both "fantasy" saurians and the starhost.
Submitted
Faith, BrokenLoved this one, I was there throughout the whole thing. The character's inner thoughts shift as he tells the story. The realisations he's going through as we the reader also come to the same realisations. Chefs kiss
Submitted
Accusations of the Rain
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