I have always been a fan of seeing the mentality of soldiers and commanders in the quite moments before battle. When they stop and considered what they are doing, are about to do and why. This story does a fantastic job at portraying that moments of internal conflict and the character of Alessandra is so few words.
I would genuinely love to see more about her and her world overrun by Havoc.
Play book
Polished Steel's itch.io pageResults
Criteria | Rank | Score* | Raw Score |
Adherence to the Theme | #12 | 3.854 | 4.000 |
Flow & Clarity | #13 | 3.743 | 3.885 |
Overall | #17 | 3.644 | 3.782 |
Concept & Originality | #31 | 3.336 | 3.462 |
Ranked from 26 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.
Comments
great story! enjoyed 'Alessandra the doubtful' donning her 'lady' persona
Brevity was the soul of wit, in this case, and I admire that you didn't try to draw things out or let the story overstay its welcome, but simply wrote what needed to be written. I thought the use of reflection on one's image and self-image was a good and interesting use of the theme as well.
I really, really liked the bit toward the end where you mirror (reflect??) the donning of her armor with the donning of her "august persona", and contrast that with "Alessandra, the doubtful" versus "Lady Alessandra". That was very well done.
I'd caution you to pick a verb tense, though (present or past) and stick with it. You switch between past tense and present tense frequently (e.g. "Alessandra saw a scarred, tired woman. But that is not what her troops saw.")
But you do a great job of portraying the desperation of the moment, and hope for the future. Nicely done!
The story really captures the hopelessness I love from the setting. That despite that humans persist. And Lady Alessandra is a perfect character for that :D !!
Leave a comment
Log in with itch.io to leave a comment.