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A jam submission

Choices and ConsequenceView project page

Are the choices of another your burden to bear?
Submitted by hedgehog39 — 4 hours, 43 minutes before the deadline
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Play book

Choices and Consequence's itch.io page

Results

CriteriaRankScore*Raw Score
Concept & Originality#54.1794.179
Overall#113.7503.750
Adherence to the Theme#133.7503.750
Flow & Clarity#223.3213.321

Ranked from 28 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.

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Comments

Submitted

I really liked the dynamic of the two characters shown here, reflections of each other and the cruel path fate had spread out before them. Well written and containing a good sense of emotion, I quite enjoyed this one. 

Submitted

good story! some nice witty dialogue and two interesting characters with complicated pasts, very nice

Submitted

I love the concept but in the change of play when the darkness dispelled I lost track of the action, and it felt like there was two different stories

Submitted

Kudos! I enjoyed reading this. It's a great play on the theme and a strong execution.

Submitted(+1)

I really enjoyed the interplay between the two characters - especially how you showed that they are each capable of getting under the other's skin. That was very effective at conveying the depth of history and relationship between them. What wasn't as clear was the actual nature of their choices and the course of that history. I feel like I didn't understand Slink's motivations in particular as well as I would have liked to - what about him changed, if anything, when he became what he did? On top of that, the way that paragraphs are blocked sometimes made  it hard to tell who was speaking, which added to the confusion.

Overall a good piece that could nevertheless benefit from some additional polish and revision. (I recognize that at least part of that can be due to the limitations of the 48-hour jam format, though!)

Submitted

There's a lot of nuance to Slink and Viktoria that I must commend. They make for great characters that even if you take just the dialogue and interactions sans the reflection part, you can sense as a reader the history these two had.

The pacing of the story also helped in enforcing the atmosphere you were going for. I got confused as well in some parts on who was speaking in the story but other than that it was a great read!

Submitted

Great atmosphere and great characters! Slowly piecing together the story between the two of them made for an engaging read.

Submitted

Wow, really liked this one! Great atmosphere, and complex characters. Loved the female protagonist.

There was some duplication in the first two paragraphs, and in the first half it wasn't always immediately clear whether it was Slink or Viktoria speaking.

But a very satisfactory application of the theme--I like how you wove that into the dialogue. Well done!