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A jam submission

Wounded PreyView project page

Age of Fantasy
Submitted by ClocksAkimbo — 1 day, 18 hours before the deadline
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Play book

Wounded Prey's itch.io page

Results

CriteriaRankScore*Raw Score
Overall#24.1554.155
Adherence to the Theme#24.3934.393
Flow & Clarity#53.9293.929
Concept & Originality#64.1434.143

Ranked from 28 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.

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Comments

Submitted

I really liked this play on the idea of reflections, one that I would not have thought of doing. Two hunters who are a prefect reflection of each others actions whilst hunting the other. So different in race and creed, yet oh so similar at the same time. 
Very well done!

Submitted

That was two stories for the price of one! Great Job!

Submitted

The story content was entertaining, I especially enjoyed the ending, and it was a unique execution of the theme. The recurring intro to all but one paragraph of "The scout" or "The scouts" followed by an -ed verb got pretty repetitive. If you can figure out how to get the same feel across without the awkward repetition, this would be stellar.

Submitted

I loved the creative application  of the theme!

Submitted

that. was. amazing!

Submitted

This was an excellent piece and an incredible use of the theme. It would have been very easy, with two parallel internal monologues and no names or dialogue, for the story to get confusing, but you did a great job giving the two characters different voices. I think this might be my favourite use of the 'reflection' theme, too. Very well done!

Submitted

Incredible take on the theme. Readers could very easily tell the different cultural backgrounds in how they perceived each other. I was a bit confused who was speaking during my first read but I think that was the point--they're not so different actually. Well done!

Submitted

I dig it. Well done! You managed to make both the same while making them from different and distinct cultures. The locket/necklace was a favorite, but the lizard crawling around in the trees was also great. Again, well done!

Submitted

Love how you applied the theme here, with each perspective mirroring the other. It was an effective way to demonstrate how alike two superficially different people can be.

It was a little disorienting, though, having each point-of-view written as a single paragraph. It wasn't clear initially that you were changing points of view. You might consider breaking up those paragraphs for easier reading, and then adding some other typographical cue (a horizontal line, or three stars, or similar) to indicate the change in point of view.

I like that the story ended with mutual understanding; it could have gone either way! The hopeful ending was nicely done.

Submitted

I really like how the reflection here is done not by them thinking about their past or by an actual literal reflection but by the mirroring of the characters. A perfect little situation with enough hints to the broader picture taking place.

Submitted

Great suspense and details. Highly rated. My favorite line: 


He combed his hair out of his face, fingers trembling with either adrenalin or toxin, he wasn’t sure which.

Submitted

I absolutely adore the parallel narration going between the two combatants.

Submitted

Excellent use of "peace" during war.