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A jam submission

Starborn DivineView project page

Submission for OPR Writing Jam #11
Submitted by invincible_mewe — 38 minutes, 50 seconds before the deadline
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Starborn Divine's itch.io page

Results

CriteriaRankScore*Raw Score
Concepts & Originality#213.7453.842
Adherence to Theme#233.4373.526
Flow & Clarity#253.2833.368
Overall#253.4883.579

Ranked from 19 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.

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Comments

Submitted(+1)

Definitely one of the more ambitious stories as far as scope and lore implications.  Cool to see someone wanting to take things to that next level.

(+1)

One of the standout stories of the jam to me - strong flow, good lines, and bravely tackling one of the pivotal moments of the setting! It did wind up feeling a little hurried to me, though - my suggestion would be to cut out a lot of the middle action, leaving just enough to establish the situation and the characters, and use the space you save to really give the arrival of the God-Queen the breathing room it wants.

Submitted(+1)

The ending felt a little out if nowhere, but. I really wish we had more stories like this, about the "early/main" questline of Grimdark Future and the Protectorate's exploits. Especially when they're this readable and able to grab attention so easily. 

Submitted(+1)

You've crafted a gripping and tense story with strong characters and a powerful ending. The transformation of Elara into the God-Queen is a fantastic twist that shifts the entire narrative, leaving me eager to see what happens next.

Submitted(+1)

Amazing! My favorite entry: poignant but exciting. It’s nice to see the people behind the birth of the Sisterhood.