Play Short Story
A Soldier of the Red Star's itch.io pageResults
Criteria | Rank | Score* | Raw Score |
Concepts & Originality | #6 | 4.190 | 4.190 |
Flow & Clarity | #7 | 4.048 | 4.048 |
Overall | #7 | 3.810 | 3.810 |
Adherence to Theme | #32 | 3.190 | 3.190 |
Ranked from 21 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.
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Comments
Outstanding story! I was locked in on every paragraph, in a unique setting that really felt alive. Perfect pacing and clarity. My biggest complaint here is honestly that there are no pictures of the crabs in the moodboard; I'll be surprised if this one isn't a winner.
Wow, thanks Gunrat! You guys are so positive! I appreciate you taking the time. As for the crabs, I will attempt to upload a picture of (literally) the crabs that my little plastic Darad fights. One is a hermit crab as you can see.
A very strong jam entry - you created a fleshed-out character and made good use of small namedrops and asides to show the reader that your story is taking place in a much larger world. Nice job!
That is very kind of you to say. I appreciate the note.
Hey dude! You've crafted a gripping and intense story that really captures the harsh reality of a grimdark future. I loved the psychological depth you gave to Darad and the way you portrayed the punishment battalion's dire situation. The tension was palpable, and the twist with Myles was heartbreaking. With just a bit more polish on the transitions, this story would shine even brighter. Keep up the great work—your knack for storytelling is clear!
Thanks! Yeah, I wish I had given it a day and done a rewrite. There's one paragraph in the middle that kept me up last night. Lesson learned. Thank you for your kind words.
'Save his honor!'
'Nah.'
I thought it was more realistic. I knew an LT like that. Thanks for the comment!
Well done. Rarely do we see the perspective of the conscripts. Red Star!
Thanks for reading!