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Good job for your first twine! I included it in a compilation video series of all of the NaNoRenO games, if you'd like to take a look :)
I've been keeping and eye on your game, and played the bus update. I look forward to its completion. :)
Hi, fellow NaNoRenO Twine dev! Good to see someone else using this engine. :D
You have a pretty nice writing style. The character has a fresh and unique voice, and the way they describe things is interesting. Maybe try to break it up into more than one paragraphs, but I like it a lot! I look forward to what you write next, and what happens next for the character. :)
(Haven't posted it yet, but my NaNoRenO game is called Fantastic Backflip. Also a Twine game.)