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A jam submission

In the Blink of an EyeView game page

It all happened so fast...
Submitted by manonamora — 5 hours, 5 minutes before the deadline
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In the Blink of an Eye's itch.io page

Results

CriteriaRankScore*Raw Score
Overall#103.5003.500
Theme#103.2783.278
Narration#133.5003.500
Originality#213.1673.167

Ranked from 18 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.

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Comments

Submitted(+1)

Pacy and atmospheric! The narrative took a few unexpected turns and I liked the gradual reveal of the setting :-)

Developer

Thank you!!~

Submitted(+1)

I liked the concept behind this! It was a creepy and interesting situation the main character got into. I do wish the story went a little deeper into the concept or what happens next, but form reading some of the other comments, it seems like you made this in 4 hours! So, definitely, a lot accomplished in a short period of time.

Good job!

Developer

Same, I wished I had been able to add more to the setting and make the final choice more impactful :P
I might finish the OG plan I had when the EctoComp is over (and I can finally go over the 4h)!

Submitted

Nice! We all love survivor island stories of course, although this one was cut very short indeed. I am also quite confused about why the killers were so happy to have her shoot him and escape? Confuses me a little bit.

Also, and I know this isn't the point of the story, but it seems clear to me that these heavily armed thugs ought to keep prisoners instead of killing them outright - just for purely mathematical purposes. Math:

- Evil Killer (21 days left)
- Prisoner (Caught at 7 Days in, x days left.)
--> Kill immediately -> if no other prisoners are caught, Killer leaves in 14 days.
--> Keep prisoner for 7 days (now 'worth' 14 days, Killer has 14 days left) & then kill -> 14-14 = 0 -> Killer leaves immediately (=after 7 days, not 14).

This isn't a criticism per say, because it actually allows for better stories as the killers would have an incentive not to just murder people outright (provided they are 'fresh' enough, of course), but just an observation re: the system.

Developer

Thank you!
Yeah, only so much possible within 4h :P

This was going to be explained in a later bit (but ran out of time), but [SPOILER]

.

.

the killers are not "players". They're supposed to be more like guards, who may or may not have a task to make the whole thing "entertaining" for whomever is organising this. Increasing fear in players to take rash decisions and forgo reason, and all that jazz. 

Submitted

Figures! Sneaky cheating organizers. Wait - did you write all of this in -4 hours-? Yikes, man. That's pretty crazy :D Extra good work in that case!

Developer

Yes, I did! It was the challenge of La Petite mort category of the EctoComp :)

Submitted(+1)

This was interesting! Different playthroughs gave me the opportunity to learn more about the world and characters which was cool. 

Developer(+1)

Thank you!!

Submitted(+1)

Good job! It was a treat to go through, and I think your narration is pretty good. I feel like I understand the choices I'm making well before I make while the story still progresses naturally.

While I like your style, but I think it can be a bit difficult to follow who's talking in a few areas, especially when you have dialogue split apart from the tags. SPOILERS: One such place is around the line where Santana goes “Well, I mean… I’m a grown woman. And it’s kind of… you know…” which might be a mistake since I was under the assumption that Santana was a man and you use he/him pronouns for him even after this line, so then I thought it might have been Paula saying it, but the way the text is formatted doesn't make sense for Paula to be saying it. I hope that makes sense?

Developer(+1)

Thank you!!

Paula is indeed the one who's supposed to say this, after Santana shrugs in response. I guess I could make it a bit more obvious in the action descriptor...

(+1)

A fairly linear game where only the last choice actually matters and decides the ending for this version of the story, meaning interactivity is not a strong point. The narration on the other hand, is. It smoothly transitions from the shop to the "dream" or Surviland, without making it feel jarring or disjointed. 

For a game made in less than a day, it's fairly well done.

Developer(+1)

Thank you!
Yeah... there was supposed to be more choices in my original plan. But you can only do so much in 4h :)
Maybe in a future update :)

Submitted

the transition into the "dream" was really smooth, and it ended at the right time, which is hard to do imo

Developer

Thank you!!

Submitted(+1)

A lot of mystery still about the island, Santana, and Paula's past. I can see the backstory with David definitely weaving its way to the story. It's linear at the moment, I tried a couple of playthroughs which lead to two possible endings. It's interesting! Who was the guy she bumped into? Did the objects in the shop have some significance? Hmmmm

Developer(+1)

My original plan was to go further into those details and have more variation... but 4h runs quickly so I scrapped it. 
Maybe in a future update :)


Thanks for playing!

Submitted(+1)

Very creepy, I enjoyed it a lot! It event felt uncanny since my name is Paula

Developer

Oh, thank you!!