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A jam submission

new eyesView game page

interview a client as a consultant at a body modification clinic
Submitted by zorkie — 1 hour, 23 minutes before the deadline
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new eyes's itch.io page

Results

CriteriaRankScore*Raw Score
Narration#34.1674.167
Originality#73.8893.889
Overall#73.8893.889
Theme#143.2223.222

Ranked from 18 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.

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Comments

Submitted(+1)

This was an intriguing glimps in a futuristic world and interesting character, which made me repeat the game a few time to get more information.

I loved that the protagonists introduced themselves with their pronouns, always makes me happy. And I appreciated the content warning.

Maybe the options for the answers are somewhat on the short side. I'm not sure if it's because English is not my native language, but sometimes the protagonist didn't say, what I would have expected with the given keyword.

Developer

Thank you!! It's always a bit tricky for me to summarize thoughts into short options -- do you remember any of the ones where the dialogue after the option was unexpected? (No worries if you don't remember any off the top of your head! I don't mean to create work for you)

Submitted(+1)

This felt like a nice peek into a sci-fi world! I enjoyed the dialog and a small scene to dig into. I wound up getting two different endings, but I wonder if there’s a “best” ending.

In any case, I enjoyed reading your story, great work!

Developer

Thank you! I think which ending you consider better would depend on your own goals as a player -- your opinions and what you want to accomplish in the scene. The tone of the endings is based on how the characters perceive them, but what matters to you may be different!

Submitted(+1)

The dialogue is really chef kiss!
It was so tense, the deeper you get into the reasons for wanting the procedure...

Developer(+1)

Thank you!! I wish I had time to get the same kind of depth in the other routes, but I'm happy you found the juicier bits! 

Submitted(+1)

This was really cool! Great take on using cybernetic eyes for the theme, I liked how this scene manages to be both fantastical and familiar at the same time. Your dialogue was all great, had just the right balance of tension and curiosity as I was reading. But I think my actual favorite line was the one about Nishtar's posture and balancing everything on their head. Made me smile. :) Nice work!

-Anna

Developer (1 edit)

Thank you!! I'm happy that you felt that way! I try to throw a little levity into my writing when I can 

Submitted(+1)

Incredible! This had the energy of a stage play: two characters sat across from one another, slowly prodding at each other, revealing complexities one line at a time, masses of subtext hanging between them. I played multiple times to explore each character further! 

Developer

Thank you!! I'm happy the subtext came through and you found it so engaging :)

Submitted(+1)

Nishtar's an interesting character, and the back and forth between them and the PC feels really natural. I did three playthroughs, choosing to be unapologetic, then neutral (and denying the procedure), then being timid, and I enjoyed seeing what's a bit of a power play. It's subtle. I really liked it. Nice job!

Developer(+1)

Thank you so much!! I'm so happy you felt that way. One of the things I was trying for was getting the dialogue feeling really good, so I'm glad that came across even if I couldn't get the scene to where I had originally envisioned.

Submitted(+1)

Fantastic story. It felt complete with good pacing. The choices gave me a feel for who my character is while still giving me autonomy to chose some direction. The style and fade effect is beautiful. It made reading easy and also added to the feel of the game.

Only thing I was curious about was what mods my character had and how they use them in their life. They seemed to assume mods were purely for employment purposes. I assumed I had one that let me type faster, or do something really boring more efficiently. I’d like to see it in action. I also want to know what the stakes are for turning down the mod application. 

Best narration thus far! 

Developer

Thank you!! I'm very happy that you felt that way.

I wanted to leave the main character's mods a bit vague to help the player project opinions onto the character (maybe they had none, maybe they had lots), but I can see why that might have made the story feel less grounded. If I ever come back to revise it, I'll be sure to keep that in mind! 

Submitted (1 edit) (+1)

I liked it! A very cohesive, nice little scene that painted a very compelling picture of a future world. I liked our mod-obsessed character, there was interesting depth there - although I would've loved a little more friction and fight at the end if you decide not to recommend the procedure (gotta crack that perfect exterior somehow, right?). Good job!

Developer

Thank you! And yes, I had originally planned more but it had to get cut for time. I also think some armour-cracks would probably help humanize the characters a bit more, but alas. Maybe I'll come back to finish it one day haha

Submitted(+1)

really like the pieces here. everything has intention and as you play you spiral outside of the presented info and into other ideas that are hinted at. the interactions are subtle and obscure enough to encourage real play. very nice

Developer

Thank you!! I'm glad the little hints I sprinkled through were picked up on 

Submitted(+1)

A focused and cohesive little scene.  Seems like you see more of the core thematic content if you play the more asshole/gatekeeper-y run; I missed a lot of it on my first playthrough trying to be less invasive.

No matter how much I tried to be nice, I couldn't get an ending where the client didn't seem at least a bit annoyed at me.  A commentary on how even the most well-meaning individuals in these sorts of gatekeeper roles are still part of a systemically flawed system, maybe?

Developer(+1)

Yes, I didn't have the time to fit all the themes into all the routes. Glad you caught them!

And yes! That's one of the things I was trying to hit on :)