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A jam entry

A Tale of Students: Garuda AcademyView game page »

Because The Students Have Their Tale to Tell.
Submitted by gigadit with 8 days, 4 hours before the deadline

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Team Members
Storywiter & Concept: Aditya Dany Nugroho
Illustrator: Hafidz Agung Nugraha

Engine
RPG Maker MV

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Comments

(+1)

Played this through some today. A few thoughts.

Pros:

-Has a Persona like vibe to it, and I liked those games.

-Character interaction is well done.

-Nice magic system.


Cons/Suggestions for Improvement:

-Need to fix the grammar and spelling. I was able to get the general idea of what is going on from the game, but there were many errors. For starters, your title for Chapter 1 is not spelled right. Maybe run all dialogues through Microsoft word? That would catch about 99% of the spelling errors.

-At the power plant, why did nothing happen if I tried to go off the main path? Maybe at least put a dialogue there or something to say why I can't wander off.

-Why does the Ogre give the same EXP as 2 bats? This makes EXP rewards feel very disproportionate to the difficulty of the fight. I'd consider letting the Ogre give you 35 - 50 EXP for that first fight. Sure, it would put you close to level 2 (or over), but the rest can be balanced around that.

Score: 2/5. Meh. What there was, was too short to get a feel for the game or if I'd like it further, and with the errors I'm not 100% sure what the story was. Fix that up and/or add about another 15 minutes of content so I can get a better feel for the story and that could easily improve to a 3/5 or higher.

Developer

Thank you so much for playing this game and your feedback. I'll fix the error and try to edit my writing.

(+2)

This has a great magic system that's involved but took me a bit to figure out, so a clearer tutorial would've been nice for that. 

Unfortunately, that is all but negated by the atrocious grammar. It makes the story a struggle to follow as it's very distracting. I would recommend finding an editor to help clear it up. Also, you have this huge town to explore (if you ignore the plot trying to rush you on) with nothing in it. I was highly disappointed in that and was hoping for more. 

By the way, I did really enjoy the music selection.

Developer

First of all, thank you for playing the game and give us the feedback, and i will try to look an editor for fixing my writing for the whole game.

(+1)

Honestly, this game isn't too bad, but the constant emphasis on pushing the plot at the expense of allowing the player to explore a bit is rather annoying.  Though what really hurts this game at the moment is the dialogue.  It's pretty clear from the way the sentences are constructed that the developer most likely isn't a native English speaker.  As such, my biggest recommendation for improving this game in the time remaining is to find someone willing to help them fix their grammar and syntax issues.

On a more positive note the game does include a more involved magic system then I've seen in a lot of other RPG Maker games over the years.

Developer

Thank you for playing and give us the feedback to improve further, and before that I'm from Indonesia and sorry for my bad english writing the whole dialogue for the game and I want to need your humble opinion about my writing skills for the game, I will try look for help if my writings is too baaaadd. Thank you so much for playing it.