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A jam submission

An Industrial PlaygroundView project page

A train graveyard populated by a tribe of young children.
Submitted by Michael Dolman — 4 days, 8 hours before the deadline
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An Industrial Playground's itch.io page

Results

CriteriaRankScore*Raw Score
Creative Development#44.3334.333
Final Presentation#64.0004.000
Project Documentation#64.3334.333
Research + Development#64.3334.333
Overall#74.1334.133
Technical / Workflow#103.6673.667

Ranked from 3 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.

Judge feedback

Judge feedback is anonymous and shown in a random order.

  • Good lighting, good composition and overall great material definition and asset construction. Some notes: -> I like that you're thinking modular here, but maybe you've gone too extreme. You have essentially broken out each step and floor tile as a seperate mesh - and while they're instanced I don't see much of a benefit (the chains that suspend the tire is a pretty big headscratcher). You're actually creating a lot of empty UV space for lightmaps as well like this - all those undersides of the blocks are being accounted for take up space. I'd love to see these represented in larger chunks and having some variation - for an abandoned scene with a train crashed down, there's remarkably little breakup on any of the concrete. Try breaking up the silohuette of the pillars and stairways a bit, and maybe pop out some of the floor tiling a tiny bit just to make things a bit more interesting. As they are - these meshes can be a nightmare for others to work with in production (like a level designer trying to move the bookcase around, or even the ladder). -> I'd spend a bit more time on your post process settings to help make the scene pop out a bit more - specifically focus on the AO being less washed out. -> Some of the scaling seems a bit off, specifically the floor boards for the basketball court, especially when compared to the hoop & stand itself. -> Try moving some of the details from the train onto a decal (like the bolts) - they're getting a bit fuzzy due to the asset size and complexity, and sometimes details like this can be preserved a bit better when on a decal sheet. You've used decals a bit - but there's so much more you can move onto them
  • Hi Michael, fantastic job on your Industrial playground scene! I love the unique mood you have achieved and the multiple levels of storytelling, from the grunge in the textures to the little props, your environment oozes passion and character, ultimately making me wonder about the world stretching beyond this room and wanting to see more of it. I was impressed by your initial concept work and your approach to building the scene was solid. You have always found a good time to stop working on something and move on to the next task, making for a clean and cohesive final scene that looks good from every angle. In your project document I especially appreciated your conclusion, where you express a great amount of self-criticism identifying multiple areas where you could improve upon, this is crucial to being a better artist (and person), please cherish this sentiment of always wanting to improve and keep making great art.

Challenge Tier

Rising Star

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