Death by the pen

               One of the most important things I learned from my two years of community college was not how to do math in c++, nor was it how Dante forgave those who were controlled by their emotions but damned intentional traitors to everlasting oblivion, but was a easily forgotten quote from my fiction writing instructor that never brought it up again. She told us that putting your ideas to death by the pen was one of the highest hurdles to jump when you begin creating. Unfortunately, that is also the first hurdle.  

               Something I noticed in all my years of school was how easy essay assignments were after you jumped that first hurdle. 90% of the time on those assignments would be spent brainstorming, researching, and drafting. Once you put your pen to the final draft it would burst the dam and the words would come forth. It might not end up as you imagined, but you finished in no time at that final stretch. 

               Now that's all fine and dandy when it comes to a persuasive essay that you might never think about again in your life, but applying this to creative outlets is much more dreadful. I feel this dread in my music all the time; it sounds way more different than you imagined in your head, and you just have to deal with it. It'll sound different when its released, when you mix it a certain way, when others hear it, when you relisten to it on another device, etc. It's also how I felt with Cognito Moonlight. Lots of things were left out or redone in favor of it being grounded in reality and realizing that it is no longer a fairy tale in your mind. 

                 I realize now that this is simply how it has to be, and in order to create more stories, more sounds, more characters, more fiction I need to lead them to the pen that draws their blood and uses it as ink. These works will be thrust out into the world for others to perceive which will be different than how I see them. Different realities will be implemented on them, different angles will be measured, different words will be read. It almost feels like watching your child walk into their first day of kindergarten, knowing that something other than you will be perceiving it, and in turn it may come back as something else. Lest, it is your child and it will shape itself like clay as the world around it pleases.  In fact, this entire post has turned out completely different than from what I had in mind, but that's okay. It's finally been born, and I will bless it. 

Okay, that's cool weirdo. Now what?

              This year has been running me through the gauntlet of reality again. I thought I'd have more free time living on my own, but it feels like I've lost more. Despite that, I'm still creating, just slowly. I was supposed to be working on more game-oriented stuff, but ended up finishing an album that I've been putting off for a year. I hope, no, I know there will be things to come. I've even got proof!

Violet Glynt, protagonist of another light novel I need to work on.

In between the other kinds of work I do, I try to refine my writing by adding to Krysallis, An idea for a story I started last year. I've been neglecting it recently, but I'm excited to try and add more to it. It's going to be more linear and less confusing than Cognito Moonlight, and I'm even going to try designing 3d models of characters to use as art. It's going to involve mech-inspired armor, which will be my biggest challenge to create, but if I'm able to make those I'll be able to create anything! At least that's what I tell myself...

Edward V of England, a protagonist of Titulus Regius

You may remember this pretty boy from the last post I made (I actually don't remember if he was there I'm just saying shit). This is a prototype of his design and will most likely be the playable character. I'm still not 100% of his outfit and hair, and I often look for lolita clothing sites for reference. Here's the main one I think I'll implement 

The reason for his feminine appearance is that he became a eunuch of house York during the war of the roses in order to hide from his uncle, Richard III, who sought to kill him for the throne at the time. 

Dr Drevinye

You may remember this name from La Vita Nuova. In that game, the good doctor is presented as male, but I've decided to reboot him as a woman because I love women. She'll be someone you can encounter in Titulus Regius, and hopefully more works to come. Why is she in 15th century England, you may ask? Well I've got some plans for her, don't you worry. 

Her plague doctor mask, a common enemy that will appear in the game as well.

Generic enemy that may appear in the game

All in all, I feel comfortable with my audio and writing skills, but will need to refine more technical and visual points and I hope I can master them while working on this.